Like a knife to the heart, news that cuts deep. Barely able to catch my breath. Life suddenly spinning out of control. Emotions a mixed bag of shock, anger and fear. If only I could rewind the hands of time and make this never happen.
Numbness overtakes me in the days that follow. Longing for support from others, yet wanting to be left alone. It feels like a wall has been erected between me and God. Where is He? Where was He when this mess was created?
My faith teetering on the edge. Prayers unsaid because what difference did they make anyway? It all seems so futile.
Time and the touch of God (even if I don’t recognize it), slowly begin to heal my heart. I can’t change the circumstances. I can only find a way to deal with them.
And one day…because of God’s grace, I not only deal with these circumstances, I accept them. There’s a difference. Dealing with them is a way of going through the motions for the sheer sake of it. But acceptance is trusting God with the plan, even if it doesn’t make sense or it’s not what I would have chosen.
Now, more than a year after first hearing the news…if I could go back and change those circumstances, I wouldn’t. God truly made good out of what appeared bad. He showed me the many ways I’ve boxed Him in and how my faith had begun to run dry. I learned that when I was at the end of my rope, He would always be there to lift me up.
Friend, He is faithful even when the news isn’t good. Bad report from the doctor? Yet another car repair you can’t afford? A terrible decision made by your child? No matter how things appear in the immediate, God can turn a tragedy into a testimony…a wrong into a right…a burden into a blessing.